Ramadan has come to devastated Gaza. Whereas the remainder of the world embarks with a festive temper on a month of fasting and prayer, we achieve this with grief and sorrow.
The echoes of battle nonetheless ring loud. There isn’t a certainty that this ceasefire will final. Persons are anxious about what occurs subsequent. They concern the battle could come again.
The reminiscence and trauma of what we now have witnessed and skilled over the previous 12 months cling heavy in our minds.
Final 12 months was not the primary time for us to watch Ramadan throughout a battle. In 2014, I used to be solely 9 years previous, however I bear in mind very nicely how our Ramadan nights had been full of air strikes and destruction and the way we needed to rush out of our dwelling at the hours of darkness, fleeing the bombing in our neighbourhood.
However Ramadan final 12 months was totally different. It was unimaginably worse. Starvation was in all places. We fasted all the day, solely to interrupt our quick with a can of hummus or beans shared between six folks. With no electrical energy, we might chew the tasteless canned meals at the hours of darkness. We’d barely see one another’s faces throughout the desk.
We had been away from most of our prolonged household. My grandmother, aunts and cousins who I used to spend Ramadan with had been all scattered elsewhere, some displaced in tents and others caught within the north. The month of togetherness grew to become a month of separation and isolation.
Ramadan was stripped of its joyous spirit. We longed to listen to the adhan (name to prayer) at Maghrib earlier than breaking our quick or at Fajr earlier than beginning it. However these sounds by no means got here. Each mosque was destroyed. There have been individuals who needed to do the adhan, however they had been afraid – afraid that the sound of their voices would convey air strikes, that it could make them targets.
As a substitute of breaking our quick to the acquainted sound of the muezzin on the loudspeakers of the close by mosque, we broke it to the terrifying echoes of missiles and gunfire.
Earlier than the battle, I used to go together with my household to the mosque after iftar to wish and see our family members. Afterwards, we might stroll by the streets of Gaza, having fun with the full of life Ramadan environment earlier than heading dwelling to have freshly made qatayef.
However final 12 months, there was nowhere we may go to wish tarawih amid the genocide.
Even the Nice Omari Mosque – one among Gaza’s most stunning and historic mosques, the place my father and brothers used to spend the ultimate 10 nights of Ramadan, listening to the Quran recited in essentially the most stunning voices – was gone, bombed into ruins, shattered past recognition. The place that after echoed with prayers and peace was changed into mud and rubble.
This 12 months’s Ramadan begins throughout a ceasefire. There are not any air strikes shaking the earth as we break our quick. No explosions reverberating within the silence of Fajr. No concern of adorning our houses, of hanging vibrant lights that may make us a goal.
Amid the ache and devastation, life – which had been on pause for therefore lengthy – is making an attempt to return again to Gaza’s streets.
Outlets and markets that haven’t been destroyed have reopened, and avenue distributors have come again.
Even the massive grocery store in Nuseirat, Hyper Mall, has opened its doorways as soon as once more. Earlier than Ramadan, my father took me and my sister there. We may barely include our pleasure as we stepped into the brightly lit mall. For a second, it felt like we had gone again in time. The cabinets had been stocked once more, full of every thing we had longed for – several types of sweets, biscuits and chips. There have been Ramadan decorations, lanterns of all styles and sizes, containers of dates, vibrant dried fruits and Qamar al-Din.
However this abundance is misleading. A lot of what fills the cabinets comes on business vans, which make up a big portion of the vans allowed into Gaza on the expense of humanitarian support. On the similar time, these merchandise have develop into unaffordable to most individuals who’ve misplaced their livelihoods and houses.
So what’s going to most households break their quick with this 12 months? It is going to be a bit greater than canned beans: A easy meal of rice, molokhia or no matter greens they’ll afford.
For the primary iftar, my household could have musakhan, a Palestinian dish that’s produced from rooster, saj bread and many onion. We all know we’re among the many fortunate ones. The overwhelming majority of individuals in Gaza can’t afford the recent rooster that has reappeared in markets at double the pre-war worth.
However a wealthy, conventional iftar shouldn’t be the one factor that shall be lacking from Ramadan tables in Gaza.
Greater than 48,000 folks have been killed through the battle. Complete households have been wiped from the civil registry and won’t observe Ramadan this 12 months. At so many iftar tables, there shall be an empty seat: a father whose voice calling his kids to the desk won’t ever be heard once more, a son whose impatience to interrupt his quick won’t ever be seen once more or a mom whose expert palms won’t ever put together scrumptious meals once more.
I too have misplaced folks I really like. My aunt’s husband who used to ask us for iftar every year was brutally killed. My associates Shaima, Lina and Roaa who I used to fulfill on the mosque after the tarawih prayer had been all martyred.
The festive spirit is gone, however the core of Ramadan is right here. This month is an opportunity to step away from distractions and considerations of abnormal life and reconnect with our religion. It’s a time of forgiveness. It’s a time to hunt closeness to God and religious resilience.
Our mosques could have been destroyed, however our religion has not been damaged. We are going to nonetheless be doing tarawih in half-destroyed houses and tents, whispering all our needs in dua’a and looking for consolation in reciting the Quran, understanding that Allah will reward us for all of the struggling we now have endured.
The views expressed on this article are the creator’s personal and don’t essentially mirror Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.
